Parliament returns next week. Season Two of The Coalition, the best political satire currently on TV. Most of it is scripted. Yet it has a very “real”, improvised feel. You almost believe these preposterous characters could theoretically exist.
A prime minister as sleek as a human aubergine, tetchily returning from holiday after holiday to rail against a “culture of entitlement”. This is the bloke, remember, who promised an end to Punch and Judy politics.
Does Cameron ever watch playbacks of Prime Minister’s Questions? The whole nation is subconsciously expecting a backbench question from a crocodile, or a string of sausages. Although a string of sausages actually has more spine than government backbenchers.
And Clegg. Clegg. A deputy prime minister so pompous and irrelevant he might as well be a Twitter account. Putting the word “sigh” in asterisks. Blaming his lack of followers on the haterz and the cynicz.
Has a cast of extras ever been so cruelly treated as the Lib Dems? Once-optimistic party members – students, psych-folk fans, chiropractors and so on – now hold the coats while their Bullingdon scuttler overlords kick the welfare state to death, steal all its money and glide away, cackling, on monogrammed Segways to play whiff-whaff. What’s for supper, Gids? “Panda tartare and some very expensive Colombian dessert …”